Tongqi Stepping Out of the Shadow of Their Gay Husbands

Dr Eileen TSANG Yuk-ha of CityU’s Department of Social and Behavioural Sciences recently published an article titled A Phoenix Rising from the Ashes: China’s Tongqi, Marriage Fraud, and Resistance in British Journal of Sociology.

Tongqi are a group of women who have unwittingly married gay men who are seeking to hide their sexual attraction to other men. In China, gay men rarely confess their sexual orientation. Instead, some of them trick naïve women into “marriage fraud” to fulfil their filial obligations. The number of tongqi is large: it is estimated that there are 14 million in China, making up around 3.5 per cent of all married women. Many of them suffer physical and mental distress. They report high rates of intimate partner violence, including verbal and sexual abuse. Also, they are highly exposed to sexually transmitted diseases and more susceptible to HIV infection.

Viewing the relationship between the tongqi and their closeted gay husbands as a significant issue needing attention by scholars researching sociology and sexuality, Tsang has interviewed 59 tongqi in northern China. Among the interviewees, 12 were educated and 47 were low-educated. They made different choices after discovering their husbands’ identity. Of the 12 educated tongqi, nine filed for divorce, either in-court or out-of-court. However, as China’s divorce law favours men, three women filing in-court divorce ended up losing the custody of their children. For those who chose out-of-court divorce, the divorce still caused great damage to their life.

On the other hand, the majority of low-educated tongqi decided to stay in their marriage. Many of them live in rural areas and felt they did not have the means to leave their sham marriage because they have limited marketable skills. They often suffer from domestic violence and risk living with HIV.

Despite the unfavourable conditions, the interviews revealed that the tongqi took action in at least three ways in the hope of starting a new life. Some filed for divorce, thereby regaining their self-respect. Those infected with AIDS tried to get treatment to stay physically healthy in order to survive, or even thrive. They also sought help and support from NGOs, which provide professional and legal advice to help them cope with the situation, and received support from online groups of those with similar experiences.